THE SADDEST EVENT IN MY LIFE

When I started writing on this blog it was with some enthusiasm.
However after posting a few articles somehow I lost interest. My mind seemed to be blank. Moreover something happened in my life which really saddened me. It was the passing away of my husband. To me it seemed so sudden. In April 2009 he went for treatment and was found out that he was suffering from cancer which had spread to the bones. You can imagine how he must have felt. I felt so sad for him. There was no word to describe really how I felt. However I tried not to show it for his sake.
However the morning we were supposed to go he told me of his dream.
He said that in his dream he died. When I heard that my heart seemed to jump but I calmed down and said to him, "usually it is just the opposite"
but something seemed not right the way I felt.
Moreover I knocked a perfume bottle which I bought in Egypt as a souvenier. Then when I went to the bathroom, I knocked down a glass which also broke. I am not a superstitious person but somehow I felt uneasy. I tried my very best not to show my anxiety. I said a prayer for our safe journey. We reached our distination which was Kota Kinabalu safely. A day before we went to Kota Kinabalu, he was working long hours at the computer preparing his lesson notes. He told me that he would not have time to prepare his lessons when he came back. I remember telling him not to be worried too much about his work but to take care of his health first. Being a dedicated teacher, he would not want to go into the class unprepared. I even told him that it was time for him to rest and not to work in his condition. But somehow he enjoyed his job as a teacher.
The next morning we took the ferry and then travelled by bus to Kota Kinabalu. To this day my regret was why we did not travel by plane when he was in such a condition. I never knew his sickness was so serious neither was he aware of it until we saw a specialist in Kota Kinabalu.